Center for child development

Ways To Control A Difficult Child

The importance of control with children

As has been often said, children must be controlled to a fair degree. In most instances, the tiny tots are not wise enough to take decisions on their own. Wisdom comes with experience and the children are not that experienced to take independent decisions till their mid teens. But the control exercised must not stifle the creativity and imagination that is so the trait of children.

At the same time, the children must have the freedom to decide for themselves on matters that would concern them. Like the color of a shirt to be worn or the brand of deodorant that they should get to use. Since these type of decisions does not involve large sums of money, any mistake can be remedied with little harm to all concerned.

Getting the attention

The first step that needs to be done in tackling children of any age group is to get hold of their attention. Here, something different than normally used practice must be employed to focus attention and to have the children focused to the speaker.

Using a low voice:This could well be a good attention grabber if it is the normal practice for the parents or grownups to be yelling at the young ones during normal conversation times. The totally different approach than before is bound to tell the tots that this time I mean business.


Use the element of shock: Most children would try and focus if an element of shock is employed to gain their attention. With the short attention spans that children normally have, the shocking element must last the least possible time.


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Clap of hands: The sharp sound of a clap is bound to bring the most absent minded child to the present. It has often been noticed that a loud clap can at times serve as a shock element that was so required at the suitable time.


Physical contact: The most basic of touches can at times serve the purpose of surprising the children. This method is effective when the adults are not accustomed to maintaining a physical relationship with the child concerned.

So, it is noticed that getting the child to pay attention can be managed with little effort. The child would soon recognize anything that is out of place in the daily behavior of the parents and any other adult members of family and friend circle.

The importance of leading by example

Children are great at imitating people and more so close members of the family. There could not be a greater teacher than to set an example for them to follow. If the adult member does not follow the path that he so wants the child to follow, then it would be a losing battle to control and bring within norms the behavior of children.

Different approaches

It has often been noticed that what works for a particular child need not go well with another. Since no two children are made the same, it would be foolhardy to expect them to behave the same too. This is where exactly the paradoxes of nature work to keep the parents and adult members of the family busy and on their feet for a good part of the childhood. As the child grows out of childhood, the traits usually identified with the age are discarded to present a more adult profile to the outside world.