Center for child development

Steps To Processing Feelings Better

Feelings in people are usually something that comes without any warning. They are the processing of situations that arise due to certain inputs provided by people and occurrences around them. No two scenarios are the same and people do not handle situations with the same ease every time. Even the most experienced parent would tend to fall back on past experiences while dealing with situations that arise in handling children.

Any good healthy child parent relation is built on a give and take. And, there should not be any winners or losers in such relations. The years of maturity that a parent brings with his age would only help the formation of a health child parent relation. This is primarily the reason that most cultures would specify a certain age for marriage of both girls and boys.

With most situations that arise out of handling children, the five basic points needed to process feeling are laid out below.

1. Cut out the lecture: It is often the practice among the elders to give out long lectures while dealing with situations and not just children alone. If given at the height of a situation, believe me, it is not going to have any effect on any of the parties concerned. Long lectures are best left for people when they have sufficient time to listen in to them.

2. The element of trust: Trust is sadly what is being left out of most relations today. There can be no substitute for trust in any relationship let alone a parent child one. Often trust is the single binding element in a good functional relationship. And once lost, trust cannot be built up in any form with any person.

3. Allowing the freedom: Every relationship must have the freedom to operate. Sufficient space must be allowed for every participant and even more in a parent child relationship. If a parent cannot show the indulgence in the children then where else can he show them?

Freedom brings with it the willing to express and share feeling that a good family must have. There should not be any blocks to expressing and showing feeling for each other in the various members of a family. And often things like a common family prayer should help build a bonding that most families thrive upon.

4. Show appreciation: Good behavior must be encouraged and promoted with the use of steps that promote such actions. The power of the reprimand must be used selectively to bring about a greater conformance to situations. Most young children are happy to be appreciated and the step that brings about this transformation is to be encouraged wholeheartedly.

Sufficient emphasize cannot be laid on the role that positive energy that appreciation brings to a relationship. This could well be the carrot in a relationship. With the increasing pressures that society places on young children, it is often this encouragement of good actions that would make a difference to a good adult child relation.

5. Supporting the child: No matter the provocation, the child must be held and kept close through the entire hard times that they go through at so young an age. More than money, it is the presence of the parent that is crucial to most healthy relationships. It is often the cementing factor in a good parent child relationship. Strong relationships are always built on policies that take care of both the parties concerned.